Hello, my new friend! My name is Waffles T. Dog. My walks are pretty amazing, and not just because I’m there, which is pretty incredible, but because my sidewalk has all sorts of interesting dogs and sometimes full of mysteries. In fact, there is a current mystery involving two Old English Sheepdogs. It should be noted that they are impeccably groomed and have an arrogant attitude that matches it. Still though, we are good sidewalk acquaintances especially when there is sidewalk gossip. Recently though, they have been the topic of sidewalk gossip. Perhaps you can help me and the sidewalk gang. At 6:00am the Old English Sheepdog Noel goes for a walk and his person always has messy hair that she wears down with a distinct odor that only the pit bulls at the car dump can appreciate. It should be noted that Noel is especially upset on the morning walks because his brother Liam refuses to, unconvincingly, wake up. No breed respects a fake-sleeper even the mutts don’t trust them. I digress. In the evening though, both Liam and Noel are walked by a person who has her hair up and smells like strawberry cider but otherwise looks like the same person. If any dog went up to ask her if she was the same person, Noel and Liam would bark that dog off of the sidewalk. None of us have ever seen Noel’s and Liam’s eyes except Dolly, a large German Shepherd, who claims that once there was a strong gust of wind that swiped the brother’s hair aside and all she saw was a deep shame in their eyes. The most popular opinion is that the brother’s person leaves the house looking disheveled with an unpleasant odor in the morning and then grooms herself by the evening with a subtle strawberry scent. Obviously, nothing is more shameful for a well groomed pure bred than to have a messy, smelly, careless person no matter the time of the day it is. Many think that this is the real reason why Liam won’t walk in the morning, while others think that their person has a twin who has morning duty, then their real person takes them out in the evening, but most of us think that Liam and Noel started that rumor. Can you think of any other reason? Is Liam a fake-sleeper out of shame? Did Dolly spread the eye rumor because Liam broke up with her, which is also a rumor? That’s the sidewalk mystery gossip for the day. I don’t know if any us of will ever really know what’s going on, but I do know that not getting involved in the gossip mill and having a nice walk with my person always ends with a dog treat and a well scratched belly. Who could ask for more?
All my pug love, Waffles
Post Script: true events with certain names changed for privacy
Post post script: if you know a dog that needs a home please let Waffles know with a description of the dog, age, the phone number an address of the shelter, and a picture, Waffles will post it and hopefully the dog can find a loving home.